The prime minister and the Governor General have blamed a "wardrobe malfunction" for the accidental exposure of Madame Clarkson’s ankle during Monday’s Speech from the Throne.

A spokesperson for the prime minister explained the speech was supposed to end with Prime Minister Martin walking over to the GG and thanking her for staying awake by playfully giving her skirt a tug, as per British Parliamentary tradition.

imageimage

However, the prime minister raised Clarkson's skirt higher than anticipated, exposing the vice-regal ankle for upwards of three seconds. Several senators in attendance required resuscitation after witnessing the shocking exposure. Television cameras quickly turned away from the naked ankle and calf, focusing instead on Clarkson's drowsy husband, John Ralston Saul, until her skirt was pulled back down by an aide.

"The skirt tug was planned, but certainly not the exposure of the naked ankle of the Governor General," insisted Marvin Exelby, the official choreographer for Rideau Hall. "It was all an accident. Honest."

But last week's promise by the prime minister that there would be something "not sleep-inducing" in the latest Throne Speech has led the official Opposition and Canadian broadcast regulators to speculate that the higher-than-anticipated skirt tug was indeed plotted by the two parties.

imageimage

A flustered CRTC representative said they will "definitely" be looking into the matter, and heavy fines could be levied against the PM, the GG, and each of the television networks that broadcast the speech.

Conservative clothing critic Hermilde Bon Vivant isn't buying the accidental argument either. "Clearly, this was pre-meditated," he fumed. "I mean, this naked ankle - there for all to see - is both shameless and outrageous. Canadians certainly do not need to see such wanton nudity from their head of state.

"My God, children could have been watching as punishment. What impression will this bare ankle leave on their minds?"

However, NDP leader Randy Jack Layton was more laissez-faire about 'anklegate.' "Hey, it's no big deal, brother. The human ankle is a beautiful thing," he commented to reporters.

"And at least we didn't see her Maple Leaf nipple ring."

 

All Opposition Members Praise Throne Speech

Each and every opposition leader, critic, and backbench MP lauded Monday's Speech from the Throne as the greatest speech ever delivered. Praise was unanimous.

"What a great f'n speech that was," beamed interim Conservative party leader Grant Hill, in an interview with CBC radio afterwards. "My God, they covered everything in there. I can't find fault with one thing that was mentioned.

"Bravo, Mr. Prime Minister. Bravo."

The opposition support for the 37th Speech from the Throne seemed to reach across the political spectrum. Even the Bloc Quebecois thought it was wonderful.

"Lincoln at Gettysburg, Churchill's "Never Give In" speech, Martin Luther King's "I have a dream," Trudeau's "fuddle duddle," - this Speech from the Throne surpasses all of them," said a misty-eyed Gilles Duceppe, leader of the Bloc Quebecois. "It makes me proud to be a member of this great and noble chamber known as the House of Commons.

"Excuse me, I'm, I'm…having a moment," he added, dabbing his eyes with a tissue.