"What the hell is wrong with you people?" Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty finally flipped last night in Cornwall.We're amazed he lasted this long.

Touring across Ontario to consult and dialogue with everyday Ontarians as to how to pull his government out of the provincial budgetary crisis, Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty finally snapped last night in Cornwall, after listening to yet another series of "asinine" suggestions from average, everyday Ontario citizens.

At the 156th and final stop of the Town Hall Ontario tour across the province, McGuinty halted the proceedings just minutes into the meeting with a string of uncharacteristically aggressive language.

"He was so rude," complained Budget Townhall participant Floyd Dopita, who was in the midst of proposing his idea for eliminating the provincial deficit - forcing animals to pay provincial income tax - when the Premier began shouting "like a madman," according to witnesses.

"No, no, no! Can't any of you people come up with anything good? All of your ideas are stupid!" yelled Premier McGuinty. "In the month I've been touring across this vast province of ours, I've heard nothing but halfcocked proposals that would actually be funny, if the people presenting them weren't so pathetic.

- If there's one conclusion I can draw from Town Hall Ontario, it's this - the people of this province are all a bunch of idiots. Thanks for nothing, dummies. -Dalton McGuinty

"Can you believe my advisors told me that this would be a brilliant way to reach out to the people of Ontario and appear as though I give a crap about their stupid ideas?" complained the Premier, as those in attendance gasped in shock.

"Jesus Christ, you would think that the law of averages would dictate that in a province of 11 million people, someone, somewhere would actually come up with a half-decent idea as to how we can get rid of this massive, Conservative-created $5.6 billion provincial deficit that...COUGH...I knew nothing about when I took office."

After a break to snack on kittens, McGuinty then went on another 25-minute tirade, listing some of the more absurd suggestions he has heard from members of the general public over the past month:

"How about Carl Tefto of Sudbury, who last week actually suggested, with a straight face, that we make everybody in the province pay 50 bucks every time they go to the bathroom to eliminate the deficit. How exactly would we enforce that? Did the NDP send him there on a dare?

Those in attendance were roused from their sleep by McGuinty's profanity-laced tirade.

"Or Florence McNuminnen of Kitchener, who got before a microphone and told a room full of people that retractable roofs should be put on all provincial government buildings in Ontario to save air conditioning costs in the summer. That's not a good suggestion. That is a stupid suggestion. I swear, it was like amateur night at Yuk-Yuks up there. Only she wasn't trying to get laughs.

"And how could I forget Mr. Billings, that lovely old gentleman from Brockville, retired from the railroad, who recommended beating people up every time they come to the hospital, to ensure less use of the health care system? Yeah, that's a great idea! I'm right on top of that one. How about you shut the hell up, old man?

"I mean, do you people think before you speak? Have you listened to yourself? You actually invested the time and effort to come down to your podunk town's community hall, just to tell me that we can eliminate the deficit by selling Kingston back to the British? Don't you think we would have done that already if they wanted it back? Don't you think we've tried that?"

A spokesperson for the Premier tried to downplay McGuinty's outburst, insisting that the Premier "is under a great deal of stress lately."

However, McGuinty was unrepentant when asked about his comments early this morning. "Look, after the one millionth stupid suggestion, I just couldn't take it anymore - town halls, pre-budget consultations, citizens' dialogues - no matter what sort of grassroots gathering we tried to engage the citizens of Ontario in, it was the same damn thing: stupid ideas from vacant half-wits. Plato was right. This whole direct democracy thing is mob rule."

Added the Premier: "These are the people who voted for me? Or should I say, these people vote, period? May God have mercy on our province."

The Premier's office issued a terse release this morning indicating that the remaining scheduled consultations of the 'Budget Town Hall 2004' tour have been postponed indefinitely.