Progressive Apathy Party Might Get Around to Leadership Convention This Weekend
The political party that has brought not giving a crap to new and exciting
levels of Canadian politics postponed their planned leadership convention
for the 13th consecutive weekend this past week. However, Evan Tyndall, official
spokesperson for the Progressive Apathy Party, promised to "get his shit
together, real soon" so that a convention can be held.
"Ever since our last leader, Bob...something or other, defected to the
Liberals, we've been sayin' for the longest time that we really should have
a leader for the next election," admitted Tyndall. And so we need to
have like, a convention. But we couldn't do it last week, because the media
wasn't really around. I should give that reporter guy I know a call.
"And I guess we need a location to hold it," continued Tyndall.
"Hmm...I wonder what episode of Friends is on tonight? Oh yeah,
if you have a convention, I guess you need to have candidates? We...haven't
really found anyone, quite yet. I'm workin' on it. Sort of.
"We really gotta capitalize on all of the apathy goin' on. If you take
the percentage of people that won't vote next election, and translate that
into the like, total vote, we could have a Progressive Apathy majority government
in the next couple of months. Dude!"