Canadian Satire, Humour and Hard-Hitting News
Buford McGraw's Blog The Hammer.ca Shop The Hammer.ca Newsletter
Add our Feed View theHammer.ca Headline Feed






NEW! - Our Podcast
The Hammer PodCast - Great Canadian Satire and Conversations with the creator's of TheHammer.ca, Trevor and David
addtomyyahoo4
Subscribe in NewsGator Online
Subscribe with Pluck RSS reader
Subscribe in Rojo
Subscribe with Bloglines
Add to Google

More Links

The Hammer Cartoon
The Hammer Cartoon
The Filler
I Sure Am Glad There's Gonna Be Another First Ministers Meeting on Health
Merv Jeacle
My Son Got 13 Seconds Less Ice Time Than Your Kid
Vicarious Angry Hockey Dad


 
Clark Attacked for Comments on Yesterday's Weather

Same-Sex Figure Skating Pair Lose Title, Win Hearts at World Championships

Same-Sex Figure Skating Pair Lose Title, Win Hearts at World Championships The same-sex pairs figure skating duo of Bruce Ernpy and Paul Raffarin of Toronto finished a disappointing 14th at the recent World Figure Skating Championships in Stuttgart, Germany.
Read the Full StoryRead the Full Story



Rioting and Violence Continues to Mar Stuart McLean’s Vinyl Café Tour

Rioting and Violence Continues to Mar Stuart McLean’s Vinyl Café Tour Riot police had to be called in to quell an angry, ovaltine-fueled crowd after a raucous taping of Stuart McLean’s CBC Radio One program the Vinyl Café in Red Deer, Alberta last night.
Read the Full StoryRead the Full Story



Martin Announces 75th "First Priority" Since Taking Office

At a campaign stop, uhm, no, just a routine visit in Riviere-du-Loup yesterday to announce new funding for Canada's beleaguered poutine industry, Prime Minister Martin spoke proudly as to how resurrecting Canadian poutine is his government's first priority. "Getting authentic Québécois poutine back on Canadian dinner plates and into our nation's chip wagons is my government's first priority," said the Prime Minister to rousing applause from several area Liberal candidates, and a couple of other...people.

In his four months as Prime Minister, Martin has now announced 75 "first priorities" for his government. Other "first priorities" that the PM has declared in recent weeks include picking up his dry cleaning, getting a new pair of Dockers on the weekend, ridding the country of Canada goose droppings, and fixing the potholes on the road to his cottage. According to the PM, a 'kitchen session' in Winnipeg is planned for next week on dryer lint. "Ridding problematic, fire-causing lint from Canada's dryers is my government' first priority," said the PM in a statement yesterday afternoon.


Performance Artist Who Tried to Burn Down Governor General’s Residence Given Governor General’s Award for Artistic Excellence

Performance Artist Who Tried to Burn Down Governor General’s Residence Given Governor General’s Award for Artistic Excellence The Governor General has come under fire after her office announced that controversial Montreal performance artist Gadzoa has been selected as a recipient of a Governor General's Award for Artistic Competence for her lifetime of work.
Read the Full StoryRead the Full Story



Dude Bids Farewell to "Friend" With Car Until Next Snowboarding Season

Dude Bids Farewell to "Friend" With Car Until Next Snowboarding Season As the snowboarding season comes to a close for another year, Simon Cornell of Montreal said goodbye to his "friend" Henry Lupischnik until next winter yesterday afternoon.
Read the Full StoryRead the Full Story



Progressive Apathy Party Might Get Around to Leadership Convention This Weekend

The political party that has brought not giving a crap to new and exciting levels of Canadian politics postponed their planned leadership convention for the 13th consecutive weekend this past week. However, Evan Tyndall, official spokesperson for the Progressive Apathy Party, promised to "get his shit together, real soon" so that a convention can be held.

"Ever since our last leader, Bob...something or other, defected to the Liberals, we've been sayin' for the longest time that we really should have a leader for the next election," admitted Tyndall. And so we need to have like, a convention. But we couldn't do it last week, because the media wasn't really around. I should give that reporter guy I know a call.

"And I guess we need a location to hold it," continued Tyndall. "Hmm...I wonder what episode of Friends is on tonight? Oh yeah, if you have a convention, I guess you need to have candidates? We...haven't really found anyone, quite yet. I'm workin' on it. Sort of.

"We really gotta capitalize on all of the apathy goin' on. If you take the percentage of people that won't vote next election, and translate that into the like, total vote, we could have a Progressive Apathy majority government in the next couple of months. Dude!"




The Hammer - Canadian Satirical News, Humour and Hard-Hitting Headlines
[Disclaimer and Privacy Notice]
Content on this site is satirical and intended for mature audiences.


Great cover band in Ottawa - The Start!