Defiant 'Vinylheads' go on an orgy of destruction last night in Red Deer

Riot police had to be called in to quell an angry, ovaltine-fueled crowd after a raucous taping of Stuart McLean's CBC Radio One program the Vinyl Café in Red Deer, Alberta last night.

Hundreds of unruly spectators filed out of the Red Deer Curling Club after listening to two hours of inflammatory tales about Aunt Matilda's elderberry jam and Henry the one-legged donkey from Carmen, Manitoba. It was shortly afterward when things got ugly, according to Red Deer Police.

"Every time McLean and his band of trouble makers come to town, we always have to double our presence on the street and have the riot police on standby," said Red Deer Police spokesperson Sergeant Don McNewbury. "Those Vinyl Café groupies are crazy."

Cars were vandalized, store windows were smashed, liver spots were exposed and sweaters were crocheted in the post-Café riot. A total of 23 people aged 64 to 86 were arrested for mischief and vandalism.

A brawl between 'Vinylheads' and rival Royal Canadian Air Farce fans who had shown up "just to start trouble," according to police, also resulted in several minor injuries.

This is just the latest example of violence that has plagued this most recent tour of the wildly-popular CBC-radio program, during which elderly listeners are regaled with tales of simple folk from small-town Canada.

Last week, unruly ticket holders hurled dentures, walkers and canes at police after McLean canceled a Vinyl Café taping in Estevan, Saskatchewan due to a sore throat. And recent tour stops in Brandon, Kenora, Thunder Bay and Smiths Falls have all featured post-show rowdiness and arrests.

While disorderly conduct and the Vinyl Café have long been associated with one another, this most recent tour has been particularly unruly. More rambling anecdotes than ever before this season have produced even more trouble than usual, according to Professor Tim McDesjardins of the University College of Brockville, a noted expert on elderly crime.

"McLean is really going over the edge with his new material. Some of the stuff I hear on his show, it's no wonder his fans react the way they do afterwards. I'd want to hit someone too if I had to sit through two hours of that."

Stu-O McLean, in this 2002 publicity shot.

Community leaders afflicted by Café violence are beginning to speak out, including Red Deer Mayor Don McYakabuski, who had this to say after last night's riot in his usually peaceful town:

"What Mr. McLean is doing, getting these people worked up with crazy stories about Floyd the blind hockey goalie and then sending them out on to the street-how do you expect them to react? I find it to be very irresponsible.

"It’s only a matter of time before someone breaks a hip."

However, Helen McGrant, President of the Vinylheads, the infamous Vinyl Café fan club, insists that her group is misunderstood. "They’re targeting us unfairly. The authorities are scapegoating us, man. It's so unjust. The police are the ones that start half of the trouble," said the 81-year-old retired high school math teacher, who was arrested for public geritol intoxication at the Vinyl Café stop in Peterborough last month. "We're just tryin' to have a little fun and blow off some steam. It's total BS, man."

A spokesperson for the CBC, who begged not to be named, refused to comment on the recent spate of the Vinyl Café-related violence. "We're just happy somebody's actually listening. Can you believe it?" enthused whoever it was who answered the phone when we called.

Stuart McLean himself also refused to accept any responsibility for the post-taping riots. "Hey man, I can't be held responsible for what the Vinylheads do after the show. That would be like, totally counter to the Vinylhead ethic. I don't tell them to get violent or anything. I tell them to all, like, love one another," insisted the messianic McLean, from a tour stop in 100 Mile House, British Columbia.

"Like, what about their children? It's up to the Vinylheads' children to pay attention to what they're listening to and watching. Why isn't anyone blaming them, man?"