Harper Undergoes Unnecessary Liver Transplant To Prove Commitment to Public Health Care
| Conservative Leader Stephen Harper, convalescing
in Calgary from his gratuitous liver transplant, pays homage to Tommy Douglas.
Conservative Leader Stephen Harper has had a completely unnecessary liver transplant
in a Calgary hospital, apparently in an effort to demonstrate his confidence
in the public health care system.
The complex surgery is all the more baffling considering Harper's former liver
was perfectly healthy, according to the doctor who performed the surgery over
"I advised against him going through with this, seeing that his old liver
was in impeccable condition, but that Steve-O's such a charmer, I just couldn't
say no," said Dr. Herman Garby, chief of organ surgery at Calgary's Preston
Manning Memorial Hospital.
From his hospital bed, Harper explained that he went through with the surgery
to prove to Canadians that he and his party truly believe in public health care.
"Contrary to how the Liberals are trying to portray me, as someone who
will usher in unfettered two-tier health care, in fact, I have the utmost confidence
in the public system. That's why I had my liver removed and replaced, in the
public, not-for-profit system. Can't you see my commitment? Can't you see my
devotion? Look at these scars!" exclaimed a teary-eyed Harper, displaying
a passion rarely seen from him.
But is the timing of this truly elective surgery so wise, so close to election
Conservative spokesperson Veronica Free-Market said Harper can afford a break,
even at this stage of the campaign. "It's all right if Stephen takes a
couple of days off the campaign trail-it's not like he was ever leaving his
plane anyway. And we promised him we wouldn't issue any press releases while
However, those who legitimately need new livers seemed perturbed with Harper's
"Gee, I really could have used that liver," said 73-year-old Elwin
Bubashenko of Red Deer, who has been on a waiting list for a new liver for seven
months. "I don't know why he got dibs on it. I know he's the leader of
the Conservatives, and we are in Alberta, but jeepers."
Yet despite his displeasure with Harper's liver hogging, the retired lounge
pianist still plans to vote Conservative on June 28. "I can't wait till
the Conservatives are in power-then I'll be able to buy all the livers I want
"Make mine a triple!"