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The Archives of August, 2004

August 3rd, 2004
Canada's Official Language Commissioner Calls for More French Cursing
Canada's Official Language Commissioner Calls for More French Cursing

In a new report released today Dyane Adam, Canada's Official Languages Commissioner, offered a scathing assessment of the status of French cursing in the public service...

August 5th, 2004
Pettigrew Gets Tough With Iran
Pettigrew Gets Tough With Iran

"Nobody whitewashes the wheels of justice under Pierre Pettigrew's watch..."

August 6th, 2004
The Hammer Steals Photo from The Onion
The Hammer Steals Photo from The Onion

Shocked readers of the semi-popular web magazine The Hammer (www.thehammer.ca) responded negatively to the use of a photograph taken from the popular publication The Onion(www.theonion.com).

August 8th, 2004
Weekend Funnies Extravaganza
Weekend Funnies Extravaganza

As a token of generosity and supreme graciousness, the authors of each of the regular 'funnies' that appear in the paper have agreed to step aside and let us do their respective comic strips for them...

August 10th, 2004
Vacation in New Brunswick Commercial
Vacation in New Brunswick Commercial"It's Canada's drive-through province!"
August 13th, 2004
The Blackout First Anniversary
The Blackout First AnniversaryThe Ontario government has buckled down and introduced the "The Power is on... or is it" hot-line. And that's about it.
August 15th, 2004
Weekend Funnnies Extravaganza
Weekend Funnnies Extravaganza

Do you have a cartoon/illustration you would like to contribute to The Hammer's Weekend Funnnies Extravaganza? Send us your drawings!

August 16th, 2004
Steroid-Free Sprinter in Athens
Steroid-Free Sprinter in Athens

"Coming from a poor country, I can not afford undetectable, designer performance enhancing drugs, but the Olympics are all about the spirit of competition..."

August 18th, 2004
Phish Stuns Fans at Conclusion of Final Show
Phish Stuns Fans at Conclusion of Final Show

After playing their final song, a stirring one-hour 39-minute rendition of the Curtain With, each band member gently placed his instrument down and gave an emotional final wave. Then, as the skies above opened and a brilliant white light surrounded the stage, band members Trey Anastasio, Jon (Fish) Fishman, Mike Gordon and Page McConnell ascended into the heavens.

August 26th, 2004
Random Typings with Merv Jeacle
Random Typings with Merv Jeacle

Well, I still haven't won the lottery yet, so I gotta keep writing these columns to supplement my income. Not that I don't make a good living from my day job, I mean, the company looks after me all right...not to brag, but I am up to $9.05 an hour now...

August 28th, 2004
Canada Strikes Gold in Synchronized Spelling
Canada Strikes Gold in Synchronized Spelling

While there has been much weeping, wailing and gnashing of hurdles over our nation's disappointing performance in the Athens Games, a golden ray of sunshine shone down today on the Canadian synchronized spelling team.


 

 

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