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The Archives of February, 2005

February 3rd, 2005
Liberals Go Door-to-Door Forcing Guys to Marry Each Other
Liberals Go Door-to-Door Forcing Guys to Marry Each Other

On the same day Justice Minister Irwin Cotler tabled the controversial Bill C-38, An Act to Impose Gay Rule Over Canada, federal officials began going door-to-door, forcing people to marry a same sex partner, regardless of their sexual orientation.

February 8th, 2005
Unsubstantiated Horseshit from Jane Tabloid
Unsubstantiated Horseshit from Jane Tabloid

Wow, that recess just flew by. The House is back in session, and all that juicy political gossip is flowing with it! It's so great hearing everyone yelling at one another again! It's like music to my ears!

February 9th, 2005
Chrétien: "My Balls Saved Canada"
Chrétien:

Testifying before the Gomery Inquiry into the sponsorship scandal, former Prime Minister Jean Chrétien indicated that it was his "small-town cheap" golf balls that in fact saved the country.

February 13th, 2005
Uncle Irv's Discount Lingerie Valentine's Day Specials!
Uncle Irv's Discount Lingerie Valentine's Day Specials!

Looking for a last minute gift for your partner, spouse and/or mistress? Every year--because we feel sorry for him--we give our Uncle Irv some free advertising on Valentine's day. Take a listen!

February 18th, 2005
LOOKING FOR WORK?
LOOKING FOR WORK?

Ever dreamed of hoisting the Stanley Cup over your head? Of course you have. What Canadian hasn't?

February 18th, 2005
Riots Breakout in Southern US over Cancellation of NHL Season
Riots Breakout in Southern US over Cancellation of NHL Season

Hundreds of thousands of hockey fans took to the streets in cities across the southern US last night to protest the official cancellation of the NHL season. The uproar sparked riots in hockey hot spots such as Nashville, Atlanta, Miami and Raleigh, NC.

February 18th, 2005
Toronto Maple Leafs Declare Themselves 2005 Stanley Cup Champions
Toronto Maple Leafs Declare Themselves 2005 Stanley Cup Champions

The Toronto Maple Leafs--our nation's favourite hockey team--have ended their 38-year championship drought by declaring themselves 2005 Stanley Cup champions.

February 22nd, 2005
Stanley Cup Allegedly Assaulted by Bettman, Goodenow
Stanley Cup Allegedly Assaulted by Bettman, Goodenow

NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman and National Hockey League Players' Association (NHLPA) Executive Director Bob Goodenow are the subject of a criminal investigation following a complaint made by the Stanley Cup.

February 25th, 2005
BUDGET 2005, LIECHTENSTEIN
BUDGET 2005, LIECHTENSTEIN

Yesterday was budget day in Liechtenstein--Europe's most powerful nation. Forget CBC, (really...please forget the CBC) the Globe and Mail, or the Smiths Falls Happy Hour, thehammer.ca has the web's most exhaustive coverage of the Budget 2005, Liechtenstein.


 

 
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