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The Archives of August, 2005

August 3rd, 2005
Doctors Concerned About "Binge Dumping" Among Seniors
Doctors Concerned About

The Canadian Association of Doctor-Type Professionals (CADTP) has launched a public awareness campaign regarding a growing concern facing Canada's aging population: the issue of binge bowel movements by senior citizens.

August 9th, 2005
New Toronto Hockey Camp For Fetuses Attracts Hundreds of Expectant Mothers
New Toronto Hockey Camp For Fetuses Attracts Hundreds of Expectant Mothers

A hockey camp for pregnant women, or more specifically for the children that they're carrying, has opened in Toronto. Enrollment levels at the new Toronto District Pre-Natal Hockey School have exceeded expectations, according to the camp's organizer and chief instructor, Carlos O'Heffernan.

August 15th, 2005
Canadian Tire Couple In Divorce Shocker
Canadian Tire Couple In Divorce Shocker

Ted and Gloria Pneumatic, the ubiquitous couple featured in those Canadian Tire commercials on the TV every five goddamn minutes, have filed for divorce, thehammer.ca has learned.

August 19th, 2005
Jean Issues Televised Statement of Loyalty: "I F*#@ing Hate Quebec."
Jean Issues Televised Statement of Loyalty:

Earlier this week, Governor-General designate Michaëlle Jean issued a terse press release proclaiming her loyalty to Queen and country. Although it was seen as an effort to appease the talk radio intelligentsia who've been calling for Jean's head because she reportedly shook hands with Jacques Parizeau's accountant in 1993, her written statement still wasn't good enough for many of them.

August 24th, 2005
"Arguing with Yourself" Op-Ed Series, Volume 1

This week's guest op-ed columnist, hockey commentator Don Cherry

August 29th, 2005
US Ratifies New "Revised" North American Free Trade Agreement
US Ratifies New

The United States' refusal to accept any and all of the legally binding rulings regarding its illegal imposition of tariffs on Canadian softwood lumber imports has raised the ire of many Canadians. While several members of the Martin cabinet and business leaders are calling for retaliatory measures -- such as finger-pointing or a good tut-tutting-against the US for their wanton flouting of the NAFTA appeal panel's ultimate ruling, the Bush administration says it has found a resolution to the dispute, as well as all trade disagreements between the two countries.


 

 
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