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Montreal Canadiens to Auction Off 1916 Stanley Cup for Birth in 2001 Playoffs

Montreal Canadiens to Auction Off 1916 Stanley Cup for Birth in 2001 Playoffs
"A great deal for all involved."

MONTREAL: With Hall of Famer Bernard "Boom Boom" Geoffreon recently auctioning off personal effects from his days with the Montreal Canadiens for his grandchildrens' education, and former Montreal superstar Guy Lafleur pondering the same, Montreal Canadiens President Pierre Boivin announced at a press conference today that the Montreal Canadiens will be auctioning off their 1916 Stanley Cup championship in exchange for a birth as the 8th seed in this season's playoffs.

The Habs, one of the most storied franchises in the history of professional sports, currently sit 15 points out of the eighth and final playoff spot in the National Hockey League's Eastern Conference. With less than a month remaining in the regular season, the team found itself on the verge of missing the post-season for the third season in a row; the first time that this would have happened in almost 80 years.

That is, until the development of this "innovative and bold" agreement between the franchise and the NHL, in the words of NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman, who spoke at the conference via speaker phone.

"The Montreal Canadiens are a franchise steeped in a tradition of excellence-a tradition that, due to some bad drafting or trading or something like that, has been broken," said Bettman.

Under the terms of the agreement between ‘les glorieux' and the NHL, the Canadiens will be trading away ownership of their first Stanley Cup, won in the 1915-16 season, in exchange for the aforementioned 8th seed in this spring's Stanley Cup playoffs, where they are certain to be devoured quickly by either the Ottawa Senators or New Jersey Devils in the first round.

Montreal coach Michel Therrien running the troops through practice. "we'er going to the playoffs! How the hell did this happen?"

"Anyone who was involved in the 1916 Cup victory is dead, so it's not like there'll be that much of an uproar from the players-hell, we're going on 100 years," said Boivin. Furthermore, he added: "Besides, this still leaves us with 23 Stanley Cups-10 more than the Leafs."

Boivin also did not rule out the possibility of the Canadiens trading a package of cups from the unprecedented five in a row that the team won between 1956-60 for either the North East division championship or a bye to the Eastern Conference final next season, when pressed by Montreal reporter Rejean Tremblay.

Bettman weighed in on this possibility as well: "The National Hockey League is always eager to demonstrate its commitment to hockey in.......Canada."

"The playoffs just are not the same without the legendary Montreal Canadiens," commented Canadiens owner in waiting George Gilette, speaking from a downtown Montreal street corner, as he was denied access to the conference.

At this time it is undetermined who will acquire the rights to the 1916 Stanley Cup, although rumoured candidates include the New York Rangers, Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder and Rene Angelil, the husband of pop chanteuse Celine Dion.

Posted on June 1st, 2001



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