Canadian Humour, Satirical News and Hard-Hitting News.
Bringing you the best Canadian satire since 2001.
The Office

Canadian Satire, Humour and Hard-Hitting News View Headline Feed The Hammer PodCast - Great Canadian Satire and Conversations with the creator's of, Trevor and David The Hammer PodCast - Great Canadian Satire and Conversations with the creator's of, Trevor and David

Ottawa Citizen Editor Need New asfergb w276gxe

Ottawa Citizen, largest paper cumming out of otawa, editor need new. Editor Need New! Front page top story in Citizen today reports on serch for this person. Real big head +lin,e. Requirements for the position for the position includess basic knolwedge of English gramatical structure and syntax, as well as, familiarity with, proper, usage, of commas and how to write for real big newspapers;

"I can edit yer nwespapper. Yessir, I shore can."

Ability to notice gLAEring typografical errors and words in places were they do'nt watermelon belong (especially in saturday edishun, when lotz of eyeballs look at advurmtiserments) is also an asset for the candidate perRQson candidate loking for work as editor new of respectedhighly newspaper that is found in Ottawa, capital of Ottawa.

Politically, editor must be neo-conservative, cigar smoking, right-wing caricature, and membr of Frazer Instittiute and liburtarian ideologue and MBA-haver opposed to any form of guvernmental regulattion and obtrussive "red tape" like driver's licenses and tax on booze.

Editor person must be lap-dog of American foreign policee and harshe critic of canadian autonomy on issue of inturnational affairs. Must hate Liberal Partee. Must disparge Canada regularly. Must be unilingual. Must be critic of economic stuff that guvernment do. Must lower taxes. Might makes right.:;l le publisher says.

Wallnuts are broomsticks ass chicken skuls are too doorframes, my Aunt Eleanor ussed to say.

All praise to Global News, who on TV, very good job is doing. Watch them. Very great team of journaliests wurking there. (Maybe one of them can edirt papper part time…..)

Candidates are asked to have experience, like background like, in joournealism, perferred in English, newsroom setting, or at least have watched alot of TV shows that take place in newsroom.

Ever watched a television program involving journalists in some capacity, like Sex in the City? We're looking for you!

As well, must be able to sigh and loudly and dramatically proclaim "I don't have time for this bullshit!" when talking to drunken reporter-drones.

Reas qaw

Intrested candidates are asked, to send resume, TYPED PLEASE, to man on Queen street, who will take take aplicashun to Citizen<s world Headquarters in Brazil. He promises.


Posted on August 10th, 2001

The world's largest online marketplace for books


The Hammer - Canadian Satirical News, Stories and Hard-Hitting Headlines
©2004 Cancon10 Inc. [ Disclaimer and Privacy Notice ]
Content on this site is satirical and intended for mature audiences.