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Christmas Gift Ideas from Taupe,'s book and music online retail sales division


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Maybe I'll Shower Tomorrow: The Buford McGraw Story

Buford McGraw: Enigma, bon vivant, serial adulterer, amateur square dance caller. Follow's editor-for-life's fascinating life story-from surviving his childhood amidst the brutal lawlessness of the comedy ghettoes of Smiths Falls, to his current role as the 73rd most trusted man in Canadian satire.

But this is no hagiography here. Maybe I'll Shower Tomorrow is warts-and-all, including a detailed look at Buford's botched sex change operation in 1991, the brief period during which he inadvertently found himself the leader of the 'Yes' campaign during the 1995 Quebec referendum, (despite his inability to speak French), his 12 failed marriages, including his on-again, off-again relationship with Wendy Mesley, and the controversial story behind the cancellation of his short-lived yet wildly popular variety show on French television, McGraw en direct.

"A fascinating Rags to...nicer rags tale of how to stumble drunk over life's obstacles and rise to the middle."
-The late Pierre Berton

Just $39.99!
Autographed version by Buford, $24.99

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Building the Perfect Orgy, Dave McGraw

Dave McGraw, guy-who-does-all-the-work, is also Canada's foremost orgy consultant. As the only ISO 14000-certified orgy planner in North America, putting them together is clearly a passion for Dave. Building the Perfect Orgy gives you an in-depth look into Dave's tireless efforts at making orgies from coast to coast to coast the best that they can be.

"Join me on my journey to Babylon."
-D. McGraw

Just $35.99 with Dave McGraw 'signature series' thong! (just the thong, $10.99)

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The Homosexual Agenda, 2005 Edition

Not content with merely the right to marry legally in Canada, 'the gays' will stop at nothing in their quest for global dominance. Want to find what's next on their agenda? You need the 2005 edition of the Gay Agenda! It's the only agenda document officially authorized by the International Council of the Gays.


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Yet Another Quaint Tale About Broads and their Daughters, by Alice Munro

Canada's darling of menopausal literature is back again with her 39th book about the everyday lives of rural women folk, or something like that. Sure to get you bonus points from your wife or girlfriend if you buy it for them.


From our Remainder Bin:

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3000 New First Priorities, Paul Martin

It's very, very, very, very important you buy this book!

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The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Robots, Stephen Harper

Special discount price, $2.99


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The 2005 Rex Murphy Swimsuit Calendar

Oh, the humanity...

Make us an offer.

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The Judy Sgro 2005 Scandal-a-day Desk Calendar

New feces seems to hit the fan everyday with Citizenship and Immigration Minister Judy Sgro. The Minister Sgro 2005 Scandal-a-day gives you a new 'gate' for all 365 days of the year, and features more Romanian strippers than a Bucharest dentist's convention.
(The production of this calendar was entirely above board. Honest. No back door shenanigans whatsoever.)



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A Conrad Christmas: A Benefit Christmas Album for Lord Conrad Black

These days, nobody needs a handout more than everyone's favourite self-hating Canadian media baron, Lord Conrad Black. The top stars in Canadian entertainment have joined together to pass the hat and raise much-needed funds for Lord Black with A Conrad Christmas!

The album includes 'Canadian Stars For Conrad' performing their new hit single, "Let's Make it a Conrad Christmas." Also featuring the Bay Street Men's Choir!

Also comes with dance remix and DVD of the making of A Conrad Christmas, and a special bonus track of Lord Black himself singing THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY.

Featured performers include the woman from the Parachute Club, Alfie Zappacosta, and a dude who sang the theme song for some really bad sitcom back in the 70's or something.

Complete box set: $39.99, plus three free commemorative shares in Hollinger.

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Avril Lavigne: It is so like Christmas, OK?

Avril Lavigne's new Christmas album is a must for the sullen youngster on your list. Listen to Avril, Canada's greatest songwriter, like totally, sing, like all of the Christmas favourites, OK? Includes Like, Jingle Bells, I'm so sure I saw Mommy tonguing Santa Claus, and Way Silent Night.

Price: Like, whatever

Posted on December 17th, 2004



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