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BUDGET 2005, LIECHTENSTEIN

BUDGET 2005, LIECHTENSTEIN

Yesterday was budget day in Liechtenstein--Europe's most powerful nation. Forget CBC, (really...please forget the CBC) the Globe and Mail, or the Smiths Falls Happy Hour, thehammer.ca has the web's most exhaustive coverage of the Budget 2005, Liechtenstein.

Otmar Hasler, Liechtenstein's prime minister, finance minister, minister of family affairs and gender equality, minister of construction and public works, minister of general government affairs and minister responsible for pretty much everything else, addressed the Liechtensteinian Landtag (Parliament) in the capital village of Vaduz this afternoon to present the budget.

Observers (all three of them) agreed Hasler delivered a feel good budget, with more than 400 Swiss Francs in new spending, while at the same time allocating 3.50 francs towards debt reduction. Global markets reacted accordingly, by not changing at all.

"This was clearly an election budget," said Johannes Matt, leader of the opposition Progressive Citizens' Party. "But honestly, does it even matter? I mean, if I lived in any other country, I would probably be a garbage collector or a shoe salesman, but since there are only 14 people in Liechtenstein, I am guaranteed a seat in the Landtag for life. Every day, I thank the Lord above that I was born a Liechtensteinian!"

However, Heinz Jorgenschturgen, the premier of the administrative district (commune) of Schellenberg, was upset that there wasn't more money for the regions.

"This is a Vaduz-centric budget, that does nothing to address the inequalities of the regions down the street from Vaduz. I have a good mind to yell out my window at the Prime Minister."

HIGHLIGHTS OF BUDGET 2005, LIECHTENSTEIN:

taxes

TAXES:

Citizens will still be asked to chip in what they can.

no Cities

CITIES:

There are no cities in Liechtenstein.

Goat

INFRASTRUCTURE:

25 francs towards improving the goat path between Malbun and Balzers.

"This is welcome news," said farmer Erich Kleinenbeinen of Steg. "My goat badly hurt his hoof last summer."

Defence

FOREIGN AFFAIRS:

An increase of 100 francs for Liechtenstein's 'No, we're not joking, we really are a country' program.

Prime Minister Hasler also pledged to improve Liechtenstein-Luxembourg relations, with 45 francs allocated for a cabinet road trip. "Maybe those Luxembourgians, despite their six-figure population and their big country attitude, aren't quite the rotten bastards we've made them out to be," the prime minister said of Liechtenstein's national rivals. "It is important for global stability that we keep the peace with Luxembourg."

johan

JOHAN THE NATIONAL IDIOT:

40 francs was allocated to make sure Johan the National Idiot gets a warmer coat. "He will be nice and warm now for the remainder of the winter as he stands on the street corner and yells at people in different towns throughout the country," said Elspeth Schneider, minister responsible for Johan the National Idiot.

"Pablum cookie pelican truss," said Johan the National Idiot, when told of the government's move.

HEALTH CARE:

Just keep going across the border to Switzerland.

Free health care for Johan the National Idiot.

"He's our country's number one tourist attraction," said Prime Minister Hasler. "We have to make sure he stays healthy."

PUBLIC SERVICE:

An additional two jobs will be created at the Department of Johan the National Idiot.

a car

ENVIRONMENT:

While a commitment was made to reduce greenhouse gas emissions by not letting the national car idle, the government has refused to ratify the Kyoto Accord, because nobody asked them to.

Harald the Tailor also promises to take the bus more often, which should reduce emissions by 75 per cent.

rubber bands

DEFENCE:

An increase of 12 francs to the national defence budget to purchase several boxes of fresh rubber bands to deter invaders.

daycare

CHILD CARE:

Helga's Daycare will now remain open until 7 PM on weeknights.

only one ski

SPORT:

55 francs for Hans the Ski Jumper--Liechtenstein's most decorated athlete--to buy a second ski, greatly improving his chances of landing more successfully.

"Maybe I won't be deducted so many points by the judges, once I have two skis," said a visibly elated Hans.

Posted on February 25th, 2005


 

 
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