HNN - The Hammer News Network
Welcome to The Hammer News Network - The official media centre for The Hammer. This area will be updated with multi-media files, both old and new, for your enjoyment.
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Audio
Assorted Media
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Ménage-a-McGraw: The Bidet
Buford McGraw goes on a wild ride with Bruce Hernuffegan of the Canadian Bidet Council (CBC) and his bidet. |
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Breakfast on Beckwith
Smiths falls radio in the morning, wake up with Buford McGraw |
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Part 2 in our 'Rejected by the CBC' Series: Poetry Hoedown at the Legion
Small town life is simple for a reason, and Buford McGraw just can't take it anymore... Slamming a well known Canadian act, pissing off small-town folk and getting a touch of that darn Spontaneous Combustion again are all reasons why this clip didn't make the finals |
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Part 1 in our 'Rejected by the CBC' Series: Meditation at Tommy Hunter Park
Buford McGraw open's yet another beer and interviews mediation expert Jerome Jerkoby. A bored host, an irritated guest and a small-town's crippling debt makes for interestingly bad radio. |
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Ménage-a-McGraw: Kyoto
"...how effective can Kyoto be, even if we do meet our targets here in Canada, without the participation of the world's biggest polluter, the US? Not to mention major polluters like China, India and Liechtenstein..." |
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Uncle Irv's Discount Lingerie Valentine's Day Specials!
Looking for a last minute gift for your partner, spouse and/or mistress? Every year--because we feel sorry for him--we give our Uncle Irv some free advertising on Valentine's day. Take a listen! |
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Coming this year on HNN
Buford McGraw gives you a glimpse at some of the innovative and one-of-a-kind news programs coming this year on HNN. |
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Bush Pledges to Bring Rogue Tsunami to Justice
"Swarthy people of Asia, you have my assurance that this... the tsunami, and the earthquake that caused it, will be dealt with the most extreme of severity. Just as we have caught Osama Bin Laden..." |
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Ménage-a-McGraw speaks to Miles Kelton of Operation Red Liver
Nothing says Christmas like getting really loaded. Between office parties, spouse's office parties, family gatherings and just good-old-fashion holiday drunkenness, the holidays are a time of heavy, heavy consumption. How does one get oneself around after one case too many? |
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Breaking News: Jesus Returns to Earth
Is this second coming? And is there a connection between our saviour's appearance and the supreme court's gay marriage ruling? |
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Ménage a McGraw speaks to James Fallowshield of the Canadian Association of Yak Breeders
James Fallowshield joins Buford McGraw to discuss the Canadian government's decision to ban yak hair exports to Mongolia. |
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The New Nirvana Box Set: Mining Kurt's Grave for a Few More Bucks
NIRVANA: The band that popularized the "grunge" rock movement and made Seattle the music capital of the world in the early 90's. Now, 10 years after Kurt Cobain's death, every unreleased note, utterance and grunt the band ever caught on tape has been assembled in the new box set... |
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McGraw and McGraw Human Rights Lawyers
McGraw and McGraw human rights lawyers make human rights abusers PAY PAY PAY! |
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Comic Can't Figure Out What the Deal is with Reality TV
No really! What's going on there? Can someone tell me? Please? |
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Kerry Once Again Reminds Voters He's Not Bush
"Just another friendly reminder, I am not George W. Bush." |
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Harper Demonstrates Flemish Fluency
Noted Belgiophile and leader of the opposition Stephen Harper answered reporter's questions in Flemish during a scrum earlier today. |
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Slam Poet Promoted to Head Greeter at Walmart
Jeremy Illiac, one of the premier slam poets in the greater Cornwall area, has been promoted to head greeter at the Walmart store where he has worked for seven years.
"Well I'm a happy wage slave, just working for the man, going to save up all my money, go to Florida, get a tan..." |
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A Visit to Liz's Used Discount Submarines "We have a tremendous selection of value priced subs...this one is a '79, low mileage, lady driven..." |
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Buford McGraw's School of Small Talk Development
How about that local sporting team, eh? |
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Government Workers Hold World's Largest Smoke Break
"Don't Ask me, I'm on Break!" |
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Steroid-Free Sprinter in Athens
"Coming from a poor country, I can not afford undetectable, designer performance enhancing drugs, but the Olympics are all about the spirit of competition..." |
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The Blackout First Anniversary The Ontario government has buckled down and introduced the "The Power is on... or is it" hot-line. And that's about it. |
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Vacation in New Brunswick Commercial "It's Canada's drive-through province!" |
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Pettigrew Gets Tough With Iran
"Nobody whitewashes the wheels of justice under Pierre Pettigrew's watch..." |
Issues
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Issue 58, Pulse of the Nation, Poll ticker, Liberal ad, Omega Superior Flowers, Bloc Québécois Alberta Candidate
(view issue)
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Issue 57, Stephen Harper, Paul Martin talking with George Bush and the Wacko Alliance (view issue)
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Issue 56, Same-sex skaters, Montreal performance artist Gadzoa, and Vinyl Café Tour Riots (view issue)
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Video
Issues
2003
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Older stuff - 2001-2003
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The Hammer TV Presents:
Don Cherry is wrong about visors in the NHL!
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The Hammer's 50th Issue! An Exclusive interview with the chief himself, Buford McGraw!
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The Hammer TV Presents:
The
Hammer Mobile in the Fireball Enduro at the Cornwall Speedway?
(RealPlayer Video format, 5 minutes 13 seconds)
September 2003
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The Hammer TV Presents:
What
did you do to Conserve Energy during the 2003 Blackout?
(RealPlayer Video format, 3 minutes 16 seconds)
From The
BlackOut 2003 Special Issue, Issue 48, August 2003
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Listen to the Ontario Government's new "Power
is on. Or is it" hotline.
(RealPlayer Audio format, 1 minute 6 seconds)
From Government
of Ontario Launches New Power Alert System , Issue 48, August 2003
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The
National with....
(RealPlayer Audio format, 1 minute 47 seconds)
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NEW- HAMMER TV!
Watch Finland's
Funniest comic in action, Jürho Kanlikalinennen!
(RealPlayer Video format, 1 minute 51 seconds)
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New
Anti-Spontaneous Combustion Drug, curing spontaneous combustion....Fast.
(RealPlayer format, 1 minute 37 seconds)
From Controversial
New Anti-Spontaneous Combustion Drug Enters Canadian Market, Issue
12, October 2001
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Listen to an excerpt of Hamish
Morose beating himself up in the National Beat-Yourself-Up Championship.
(RealPlayer format, 1 minute 13 seconds)
From B.C.
Man Wins National Beat-Yourself-Up Championship For Third Consecutive
Year, Issue 44, June 2003
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TheHammer.ca's newest sponsor Dave
Little Orgy Consultants, meeting all your orgy needs.
(RealPlayer format, 1 minute 3 seconds)
From Thehammer.ca
welcomes its newest sponsor, Dave Little Orgy Consultants, Issue
43, May 2003
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Federal
book reading inspector's investigate door-to-door.
(RealPlayer format, 1 minute and 5 seconds)
From Canada
Book Week, 2003: Canadians Ordered to Read Novel as Part of National
Book Club, Issue 42, April 2003
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Wounded Racoon Records recording artists the Brothers McGraw performing
their 1999 anthem, The
Neo-Conservative Folk Singer.
(MP3 format, 3 minutes and 7 seconds (warning: some explicit language))
From Radical
Poets Urge U.S. to Invade Iraq, Hold Pro-War Poetry Readings Across
Continent, Issue 38, February 2003
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Minister Pettigrew
and ravenous parliamentary reporters looking for blood
(RealPlayer, 1 Minute in length)
From Pettigrew
Suffering From Split End, Issue 38, February 2003
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RRSP
Advice from The Hammer
(RealPlayer, 2 Minutes and 8 seconds in length) |
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The latest CBC-Yukon
newscast
(RealPlayer, 20 seconds in length)
From Yukon
Journalists Demand News, Issue 38, February 2003
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Top 12 Reasons
why Canada should be moved to the South Pacific
(RealPlayer, 2 Minutes and 14 seconds in length)
From Canada
to be Moved to South Pacific, Issue 37, January 2003
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The
Hammer's Round Table Discussion on Privitizing Canadian Medicare
(RealPlayer, 5 Minutes and 24 seconds in length) |
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Ralph Klein's Latest
Commercial on the Down side of Kyoto
(RealPlayer, 1 Minute and 16 seconds in length)
From Alberta
Government Launches Aggressive New Kyoto Blows Campaign,
Issue 35, December 2002
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February
2002, Episode 2
(RealPlayer, 18 Minutes and 33 seconds in length)
* Government of Madagascar Overthrown in Haiku d'État
* Naked Man Unable to Find Work
* Wounded Racoon Records "Rob Zombie's Greatest Hits"
* Ottawa Sun Employment Opportunity
* Roundtable Discussion on Canada's Health Care System
* Impact on Civil Liberties in the Wake of 9/11 |
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January
2002, Episode 1
(RealPlayer, 17 Minutes and 33 seconds in length)
* Money To Buy Happiness
* CPAC Watched
* The Scottish Accent
* Wounded Racoon Records "100 Sound Effects of The Stars"
* The Flemish Independence Movement
* Pretentious Movie Reviews
* Lake Inferior Demands Great Lake Status
* Military Bottle Drive |
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